I first went to River Bar & Restaurant (or just "River", as its known in the hood) within a week or two of it opening 5 or 6 years ago (Website was not working as of this post, which is irritating, only a Facebook and Twitter page); it was the first new bar in the hood in years, so I had high hopes. River is located on the West Side of 10th Avenue, between 42nd and 43rd Streets, though oddly (and foolishly) the official address is 500 West 43rd Street, because it is underneath a huge highrise that has its official address as 43rd Street, so you think these guys would want to make it clear they are a block away on 10th Ave, but I guess in order to do that you would need a working website (HINT).
The space was previously a small bodega that I was frankly very sad to see go. The owners gutted the place and did a pretty solid job renovating and spent what is likely a boatload of Benjamin's doing it. Personally I think they made a mammoth mistake by not making a balcony second floor utilizing half or three quarters of the floor plate, rather than wasting all of that cubic footage. I love 20-30 foot high ceilings
As I understand it, the owners are (or at least this was the case a while back) absentee and if I recall correctly they are two or three guys in their 30's or 40's. I'd be more specific about it, but they somehow seemed to have evaded being listed in the State Liquor Authorities License Database. Not sure how they did that. Anyway, this is clearly not their primary source of income, as frankly I find it hard to believe that its making any money at all, if its not losing buckets of it every month, which is more than likely. No matter how much money you have, nobody likes to (and most can't afford to) lose it. And if you are gonna be an absentee owner and have a vanity bar or lounge, it should at least be cool, fun, and have customers, especially if you aren't making any money.
I was never sure what this place was supposed to be from day one; sports bar? Nope, only two TV's (though nice flatscreens, but two does not a sports bar make). Wine bar? Nope, hundreds of empty wine bottles up to the ceiling for decoration, but no real wine list. Restaurant? Nope, beautiful new kitchen, but small menu of mediocre food and only a few standing tables. So what the hell is it? I honestly have no freaking idea after a few dozen visits over 5 or 6 years. I have only been there 3 or 4 times in the last year, but when it first opened I had two different friends who worked there, so I spent quite a few nights there until 5am, so I am certainly familiar with it, yet I cannot tell you what it is, or what it is trying to be.
Having no identity is a bad thing, and it clearly explains why 90% of the time when I walk by its either empty (literally) or has less than 4 people (NOTE: I walk past 3x a day minimum, each at different points in the day).
Lets start with the location, its a weird spot. This is hard to explain, but then again, so is why one gas station directly across the street from another makes twice as much as the other one does. There are good corners and good sides of the street, and there are bad corners and bad sides of the street, and lastly, there are good blocks and bad blocks, This is on the bad side of the street on a bad block (for a bar), and conversely, Mr. Biggs, which is a mere 50 yards away, is on a good corner on a good block for a bar (and doing a banging business 7 days a week). Make sense? Probably not, but trust me, think about it, it will.
In any case, drink prices are pretty average, and there is usually a messy chalk signboard out front advertising a happy hour with various 2 for 1 specials and discounted drinks, and specials for $30 all you can drink beer and wine during ball games. Its worth noting they attempted to use that special during World Cup and it was perhaps the only bar in New York City that was dead empty during every game, and I am pretty sure I walked by during every game.
I know they have tried a variety of things here including, a comedy night (this is a weird and bad spot for that!), a Wii game night, and an acoustic guitar/music night. I have seen a few people, 10-20, on a couple of these nights, but I haven't seen any of these things happening there in months, thus, I have seen no people.
Its also worth noting that they tend to keep erratic hours (regardless of what the posted hours say), and generally close pretty early, usually around midnight from what I can tell, though I have been past on Sundays and Mondays when the doors are locked at 10pm or 11pm. Note to the owners; this is bad for business - consistency is key.
As for the staff, most of the female bartenders I have seen there have been pretty good and pretty friendly, which more often than not seems to be the case in most places, though perhaps thats just because I love women and don't like male bartenders, thus I think most male bartenders are dickheads. With that being said, I have not seen a female bartender there very often in recent months, so its pretty much guys, which as I have said many a time -- not my thing, don't like em behind the bar, unless its at McSorleys.
As for the food and menu, its pretty forgettable. The last thing I had there was a steak sandwich and it was not good at all, mediocre quality of meat, rubbery, and no flavor. This was within the last six months, and also the last time I ate there. All of my other visits have been for drinks.
On the bright side, the bathrooms are nice.
If it were my place I would add the balcony/second floor, open up the front windows on both sides to the street, add some more standing tables and make it into a cozy dark wine bar (with a real wine list), get a real menu with a real chef, and add some female bartenders. But thats just me...
I give River a C for the layout, a C for the forgettable drinks, a D for the vibe and being perpetually empty, a C for the menu and food, and a B for being a place that is perpetually empty when I want a quiet place to meet someone for a drink and talk. And yes, I know I gave them a D and a B for the same thing. I can do that.
River Bar & Restaurant
500 10th Avenue (between 42nd & 43rd Streets)
NY, NY 10036
212.594.6399
www.riverhellskitchen.com
